Since discovering my high sensitivity, there have always been steps backwards, steps forwards and also steps sideways. That is somehow part of it. It happens with every new experience in life or at work. I am EXTREMELY aware of these steps. I reflect on everything very carefully and then draw consequences or conclusions for the future. A valuable and important factor that I have been using since around the end of November is the very important and even healing phrase: The light defeats the night.

Walk the path consciously

After my short presentation to my employer, I felt very motivated. “Things are moving forward now, all doors are open to me, I have the right amount of the often forgotten and yet very important and powerful aura of success,” etc. And what happened? Unfortunately, not as much as I would have liked. In some cases, people were even extremely tense when I brought up the subject of high sensitivity. “Hmmm, what was I doing wrong?” And then I realized that I was also putting people under pressure with my enthusiasm. I didn't want that at all and was quite upset about it. THAT was a consciously experienced step backwards. I also felt quite helpless. Then came a bright moment. I was able to attend a seminar by my former neighbor, Sandra Simon Henriksen, who really is an honest and valuable person. Even though she shows her brilliant empathy, she remains objective. This showed me that I can be overwhelming with my ideas and a seed was sown for future steps. I now had the good feeling that I was taking a more grounded approach to my initially a bit spongy path. It takes courage yes, but courage is the textile, where dreams are made of and sometimes it is really necessary to approach the dreams. They are worth it.   

Walk on slowly

I continued my journey more thoughtfully, stopping, pausing, praying and reflecting, being creative and taking a few breaks to breathe, and I was able to reflect even better and make the necessary changes in perspective. I read or heard “I am here” from time to time. Whether God said it to me in prayer, it was said in church or I heard it in some other way, it became more frequent. In mid-November, the time seemed a little gloomy and attending church services and the good, sociable get-togethers, especially the Taizé service and the wonderful Christmas package campaign for needy children, did me good. In November, the mother of someone I hold in very high regard passed away. I wanted to be there, somehow. “Be a light to him by the wayside”. I heard in a prayer. So I took a step to the side and lit a candle from time to time or mentally sent him strength and light. Then suddenly the idea came: write a song about how the light can defeat the night. The title “The light defeats the night” began to emerge. First in English, then in German. An enormous amount of meaningful things can be created if you walk the path slowly and consciously and can also fulfill time in difficult situations or with creativity. I think it is important to do that and listen to your heart.

Path through the night

I have often celebrated New Year's Eve alone and in my own way. This year on Dec 31, 2024, I was also gladly and wholeheartedly invited, but the idea of walking from the church to my home with a lit torch (through two villages and the surrounding area, approx. 1.15h) was stronger. After a fun and inspiring church service, I lit my torch on the peace light and set off. I actually wanted to walk through the forest and across the fields. But my father said to me in my mind that I should walk along the road.  There was thick fog and some of the public lighting was out anyway. So it was also very dark. I went to the cemetery and lit a candle for the deceased, especially my father. At the exit of the second village, the first torch had already burned out, so I lit the second one. I started to feel a bit queasy because it was PITCH DARK and very foggy and there were hardly any cars on the road. Especially not people. Nevertheless, I plucked up all my courage. I walked on into the darkness. And yet I knew: God is there, my guardian angels are there, my father is there and I sang the chorus of the song “Gloria in excelsis Deo”, which we happened to have sung in the service, a thousand times, alternating with my song “The light defeats the night”. Walking physically alone through the dark and still singing did something to me. And by the way, I also picked up garbage and threw it away where I live. That was kinda deal with God. If he is good to me and always protects me on my way, I can help to clean the way I walk on. So I did that and felt great despite the cold and the fog. So it made sense to me.

THANK YOU for this journey and a happy, healthy new year and God's blessing to all of you! May the light defeat your dark moments too!